Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize