8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
okay pat passed out under dana's car
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
