we have officially lost it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
