just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
