ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
