I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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