after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize