do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
