Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
