I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
