I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
