so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
