I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
