Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
