Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think a kid would responsible me up
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize