If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
