singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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