Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
