Whod you bang
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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