Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
