She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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