we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
