I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
