i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize