every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
