haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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