You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
