It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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