so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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