I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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