dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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