I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
