you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
