Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize