Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize