i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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