JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
