I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This is my gift to your gina
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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