You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
