Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
