I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
