I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize