She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
