no you cant smoke seaweed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
