I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
