how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
