I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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