I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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