How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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