and you said cock pushups were impossible
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize