They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
