At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize