call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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