She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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