Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think people are normalizing furries
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
