i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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