when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My balls are so social today.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
