how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
