Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I pour the whiskey from now on
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
