Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
