Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize