Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize