i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
