i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
