we're blogging at a bar
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
