What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
